Ambrosia
by AryaBlack-07
Summary: Dean could never look straight at mirror. It always reflected a monster. AJ never looked at a mirror either. It reflected the truth too well. Could love lead them to acceptance? Dean and AJ have finally made it to WWE, a teenage dream of theirs but will they ever be fixed from the blows of their past?
1. Long Lost

A/N: This is only an intro chapter. Might seem a bit boring. I've tried to keep the timelines as straight as possible but some alterations were necessary though. AJ and Dean both are from Ohio. Their history together will be explained in the next chapter. I will keep most storylines true to WWE but might have to make up a few storylines if the story demands so. Also, I like to take my time unfolding plots, this will not be a whirlwind fall in love, fall in bed story. Patience. Both will happen with time.

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><p>The lunatic fringe rules.<p>

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

**Long lost...**

"April?" Dean Ambrose called out in disbelief at the small figuring skipping ahead of him.

AJ turned around and her eyes widened in surprise.

"Jon? Oh my god! Dude!" She yelled, simultaneously launching herself at Dean.

Dean grinned and caught her in a hug.

"This is insane! When did you get here?! _How_ did you get here? Why didn't you..." AJ trailed off, embarrassed, suddenly realising she'd been bombarding him with questions without even gving the poor guy a chance to respond.

Dean smiled, his arms still around AJ in a half-hug.

"Got a call from developmental back in April. Been here ever since. Don't tell me you missed the rise of the legendary Jon Moxley, the blood happy, brutal fiend?!"

AJ laughed. "I'm guessing that's supposed to be you? Sorry Jon, I was rather involved in the rise of Geek Goddess AJ Lee."

"Have to say I missed that as well. So how come I haven't seen you around? Been here for a month."

"I got moved to main roster!"

"For real? That's amazing!"

"Guess our dream can true, huh, Jon?"

He smiled softly. "Yeah, I guess it did..."

They stood there for a while recollecting the old days, when they were both kids, struggling to make it through another day. They looked at each other and felt proud that neither had given up on the dream they had dreamt together when they'd scraped enough to get seats into Wrestlemania XX. They waited eight hours to get those nose bleed seats but never in their lives had they ever had a better day. Their lives had changed forever as they saw the legends battle it out.

Neither had looked back or thought of doing anything different ever since. They had sworn they would be in that magical square one day, where ordinary people became legends.

AJ looked at Dean with affection. "So have you met all the guys yet?"

"Few."Dean shrugged indifferently and AJ rolled her eyes. If he was anything like the boy she remembered he'd probably avoided everyone like plague.

"I'm here to meet a few friends. Come with me."

Dean looked distinctly uncomfortable. She took his hand.

"Trust me. They don't bite."

He grudgingly let himself be herded by her and they soon found the people she was looking for.

"Lopez! Joe! Guys! Hold up!"

Dean sulked back as AJ ran up to hug the two men. One was a hulking mammoth while the other had chicken hair.

"Guys have you met Jon?"

"You mean Mr. anti-sociality over there?" The big guy said. Dean scowled and was about to come back with a snarky reply when AJ cut in.

"Yes. And he's my friend." She frowned. "So behave."

"Jon, this is Joe. Goes by the name of Leakee or Roman Reigns here." She then pointed to chicken head. "And that is Lopez. Colby Lopez. Goes by Tyler Black or Seth Rollins. And guys this..."she gestured at Jon as if presenting a grand prize. "...is my long lost friend Jon."

The three guys gave each other non-committal shrugs. AJ shook her head.

"So when's the big debut?" She asked Roman.

"Debut?" Dean cut in with interest.

"Yeah. The guys are moving up to main roster anyday now as The Shield. This badass, fighter for justice kind of gimmick group."

"Survivor Series probably." Chicken head Rollins replied.

AJ squealed. "It's gonna be so awesome!"

The three guys smiled indulgently at her.

"Had lunch yet?" Roman asked AJ.

"Actually I was sort of heading there but I ran into Jon..."

"Come on then. I'm starving."

AJ rolled her eyes. "You're always starving!"

"'I'm an over-worked employee. Of course I'm starved."

"Don't let Vince hear you say that!" Big E shouted as he passed by.

Reigns stuck out his middle finger at the guy.

Seth laughed.

Even Dean smiled reluctantly.

They started to head towards lunch, goofing around as they went.

AJ smiled, taking in the scene. If only they knew...

Where she'd come from...

How the odds had never been in her favor...

But only Jon could understand that really...

She took his hand and thought back to those times, years and years ago...

Almost like a dream...


	2. April & Dean

A/N: Too many things to not do. This may feel a bit rushed but I want the history to be complete in a few chapters. The next one will be completely Jon. My keyboard's i key is not working. So if you see it missing that's the cause. If you read please try and **review**. It's no fun writing without some **interaction**!

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

**April & Jon**

They lived a few houses from each other in public housing at Cincinnati.

Jon had always been a quiet kid. He didn't have any friends, even back then. He scared the kids. Scared the adults too, to be honest. There was just something unsettling about the dead eyed stare he generally gave people.

He had a tendency for violence. Almost a love for it really. He _enjoyed_ hurting people. It was cathartic to him. His genes could be blamed for that maybe. His father was in prison for assault and battery after all. He never thought of that man as anything more than a sperm donor really. That was about the extent of his involvement in Jon's life.

His mother was a hooker. He was never really sure how she knew who his father was but he never asked. They had too much to deal with it already.

She would come home every night and she would be more bruised and battered than when she left in the morning.

He would quietly tend to her every wound, never muttering a word. But rage would burn his body and every wound he saw on her was always duplicated on someone else with the exact amount of brutality. He never felt more helpless than when his mother handed herself over for him to fix.

April, on the other hand, had it better. At least to begin with. She had parents who cared about her, siblings who loved her. Sure, they didn't have a lot of money but they were a content family.

He would see them sometimes, her brother and her, playing around the block, without a care in the world. Her laughter would ring through the air often and it was the strangest sound in the world to him. He tried to imitate it sometimes but it never seemed to give him the carefree joy he saw when he saw her. He resented her deeply for it.

Whenever April saw Jon she never failed to smile. Or acknowledge him in some way. But her eyes, her eyes always held a sort of pity for him. He hated that look relentlessly. He hated her for being whole. He wished she knew how dark life could get.

It had been a bright, clear day. The rain had just dried and the sun was beginning to peek up. Jon had decided to pick up the groceries from the store before the money got stolen or spent and they ended up hungry again. He must've been 15.

As he walked past an abandoned alley, he heard the screams. Not just any scream, her scream. He was very sure of it even though he had only heard her laughter till now.

She was being held down by a boy as another thrust into her repeatedly. All her clothes were torn. There was a lot of blood. He looked at her face. It had been split open at various places as if she'd been repeatedly punched.

April would never forget what happened next but to this day Jon only remembers a blind rage filling him, his ears popping, his pulse quickening and then...nothing.

But April remembered. She remembered the sheer savagery with which he attacked the boys. They must've been a foot taller than him but t had still seemed like an unfair fight. Most of all though, she remembered the silence. Jon never once yelled or grunted in pain when he was hit. Not even in anger. He systematically decimated them. Like it was a task. Without emotion. She knew then. She knew but it didn't frighten her.

Those boys never had a chance. He killed them. And as soon as they were dead he didn't spare a single extra hit on them. He went to April who was barely conscious.

"Can you walk?" His voice sounded hoarse and gravelly due to disuse. It was the first time he had spoken in a week.

She didn't respond, just moaned in pain. Jon put an arm under her side and supported her all the way home.

It was tough convincing her parents he had nothing to do with her condition. It was hard for them to believe any good of the punk kid with blood on his hands.

There was a trial. He was tried for the rape of a minor and the murder of the two boys. He didn't say a word in his defense.

April was in no condition to testify. She had been in the hospital and in a very bad place physically. Emotionally she must have been worse. She was not cleared to testify in his defense.

It was strange but all through the trial Jon was numb to everything but the fact that he had once wished ill upon this girl. He had wished for her to see the dark side of life. He felt as though he had wished this misery into her life. The guilt of living with that was hard to bear and he was almost glad his case had started looking so weak. He believed that this was just punishment.

It was lucky for him that his mother could reach through to April just in time. She had recovered some and insisted on testifying.

Jon could not bear to look at the frail girl hobbling on crutches as she came to his defense. _I did this to you! _He wanted to scream at her. _Stop defending me._ But his face remained an impervious mask no matter which way the trial went.

He didn't care about winning and he wasn't afraid of losing. It didn't matter what they did to him.

Ultimately, he was saved by April's testimony though still given time in correctional for getting psychiatric help. His mother was deemed unfit to be his guardian. He would be looking at foster homes once his time at correctional was done.

The social worker came to collect him. As he was leaving a soft voice called from behind "Jon?"

He turned and there she was. Hand bent at an awkward angle, crutch supporting her as she limped towards him, hair greasy and clumped.

Looking at her, he wanted to break down sobbing.

_His fault. His fault._

She came up to him and put her arms out. It was only seconds later he realized she wanted to hug him. He moved forward and she clutched him tightly.

It was the first time anybody had touched him without meaning to hurt him. And it came from her. Her, who he had wished all this on.

"I'll come visit you." She whispered in his ear. "I promise."

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><p>Anyone have a better name for the story? Kinda don't like this one too much.<p> 


	3. Correctional Dean

A/N: Before you start reading, if you don't believe in grey characters this story might not work out for you. My main characters are always more black than white. Also minor sexual content. Also REVIEW! You have no idea how annoying it is to have 500 reads and 5 reviews. Like really guys?

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

**Correctional Dean**

Correctional was weird for Dean. It was almost as if they had put an adult in the midst of children. He didn't relate to them at all. Their troubles and worries felt juvenile to him. He became brilliant at manipulating them. It was fun doing it. He took an avid interest in human psychology.

The sole person he could even remotely connect to while there was a volunteer for the correctional. Her name was Joan Laurer. She had been associated with the wwe before and had wrestled under the name Chyna. Life had been tough for her too. Dean really felt as if she was the one person who could actually understand what he was going through. She understood his silence and she understood his rage. They became close over some period of time. She was the one who introduced him to wrestling.

One afternoon, they were sitting in the recreation room watching some old dvds from the attitude era.

Dean looked at the woman on screen in amazement. "Is that really you?"

The woman on screen looked so different to the one sitting beside her. One was bold and brazen, the other calm and demure. He liked this version better though.

Joan smiled. "Those were different days."

"Yeah." Although he could not merge the flashy, barely dressed female with the sombre conservatively dressed volunteer. "So what happened?"

She looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean...why did you leave? It all sounds so cool."

She gave him a sad, world weary smile. "I was losing it. I knew I had to get out. Not just out of wrestling but the whole lifestyle. I was doing hard drugs, I had done porn, my relationship with Paul had fallen apart. It was just not a good time."

Like any other teenage boy his brain only picked up one word from that answer. "You did porn?!" He asked her excitedly.

She laughed at his typical boy response. "Yes. It isn't something I like to think too much about now."

They sat in companionable silence then, watching the weird antics of the DX.

He cleared his throat after a while and asked apprehensively. "What's it like?"

Joan looked at him distractedly. "What?" She asked absently.

"What's it like? You know...sex?"

He had her attention now. "Why you asking me?" she asked hesitantly.

"Well, you did porn. You're like the expert opinion. Who better?" Dean replied confidently.

"I should not have told you that" She smiled indulgently. "It's all right I guess." She said as an afterthought.

"All right?" Dean said, looking unsatisfied.

"Well do you want me to reinforce the rock your world theories? It's just an activity Jon. Highly over-rated."

He looked at her face closely. "You're lying."

She arched her eyebrows and looked at him condescendingly. "And how would you know that?"

"I just do. I can tell when people lie to me. I might be young but I'm not stupid Joanie."

She smiled at him sheepishly. "Ok. So it _can_ be good, I guess. With the right person. At the right time."

"Have you ever had an orgasm? Isn't it like difficult for chicks to have one?" He asked curiously.

"Jon!" She looked at him scandalized.

"What? You're the only friend I have around this rat hole. Don't go all prude on me."

"This is a highly inappropriate conversation to have with someone twice your age."

"What does that have to do with anything?!"

"I'm supposed to..."

"I don't care." He uttered belligerently.

"Excuse me?" She looked at him as if she couldn't quite believe his audacity.

"I don't care Joanie. I don't care if you're not supposed to talk to me about things like this. I don't care if it's wrong. Right and wrong doesn't mean much to me. I just want to, I want to..."

She could not have any idea that it was all a very planned setup on Dean's part. He wanted something from her and he planned on getting it.

She peered at his downcast face.

"You just what Jon?" she asked gently, feeling sorry for the boy which was exactly his intention.

"I just..." He took her hands as if in need of support but actually he had just deliberately wanted to do that and so much more. But he had to be careful. So very careful. This could blow up in his face.

Joan patted his hand reassuringly. "What is it Jon? Talk to me."

He looked up at her, keeping his expression pathetic. "I just...want...someone to care." He mumbled pathetically. It was a brilliant performance and no one looking from the outside could have guessed the boy was faking it. Maybe because part of him did feel that way and he was just amplifying that part to manipulate her.

Joan let out a sigh. "I do care Jon. You know that."

"Do you?" The doubt in his face wasn't even acted upon now. He was a street rat. He wasn't given things unless he snatched them.

"I do. I know you've..." But he didn't let her carry on the sentence. He swiftly leaned towards her and placed his lips on hers in a chaste kiss.

"Do you?" He murmured against her lips. "Do you still?"

It was timed perfectly. Any other time, Joan might have pushed him away, yelled at him even, but now she felt that the boy was just miserable for company.

She backed away and a little and put his arm around him. "I do Jon. But this isn't right. I'm old enough to be your mom. You'll find the right girl someday. You're vulnerable and weak. I wouldn't do this to you."

He let his shoulders sag in defeat. "Ok. I understand...I'm...sorry Joanie. I hope this doesn't spoil things between us." He rose pretending as if he was walking back to his dorm, head hanging low.

"Jon. Jon, come back." He barely smothered the Machiavellian smile threatening to spread on his face as he turned around.

Joan took his hand. "Please don't be upset."

A little impatience stirred his soul but he smothered it down.

He looked at her with pleading eyes. "Please Joanie?"

She started to get up but he caught her hand and smashed his lip to hers. He hadn't kissed anyone before but what he lacked in technique he made up with deviousness. This kiss was nothing like the first. It was desperate, it was needy, it was filled with loneliness and longing. All the emotions that he knew would convince Joan to give in.

His tongue pressed insistently on her closed lips, seeking entry.

She pushed him back a little and tried speaking reasonably "Jon.."

"Joanie please. Make it go away. All this pain. I can't handle it alone. Please. Please."

This time as their lips closed together he met no resistance.

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><p>It took a few more schemes like that but soon enough he had Joanie. Every time they met he would push the envelope a little more just to see how much it could be forced. He was careful though. So very careful that no one got a hint as to what he was up to.<p>

There were two influences in his life now: Joanie and April. Or rather it would be more accurate to say there were two Jon now. The Jon he was with Joanie, a manipulative, street rat bastard and the Jon he felt he could be when he was with April.

It would be two month in the correctional before she finally came to visit. He remembered he was with Joanie in one of their hideout corners where the cameras couldn't catch them. He was feeling particularly unhinged that day. And he only had one let out in that rat hole.

Joan could feel something was wrong by how rough his kisses were. He wasn't usually this inconsiderate. He was just beyond defeated y the voices in his head that day and he needed an outlet. Heedlessly, he thrust his hand under her shirt grasping her waist to pull her closer. He could feel Joanie's resistance but he ignored her and let his hand grab her breast. She could have thrown him fifty feet before he knew what hit him but today he was willing to risk that. Fuck it, the voices in his head shouted. Egging him on to be reckless. He could feel himself getting aroused. He was sure Joanie could too since he was basically straddling her. He grinded himself into her even though they were both still very much dressed. He was losing control. It wasn't about sex. It wasn't even about love. It was about control.

He wanted control over something. Anything. As he pulled back from her lips and starting kissing her neck, he convinced himself this was the only thing he still had a control over. He took one of her hands and guided it to the growing bulge in his jeans.

"Jon..."

"No."

"Jon get a grip!"

"No."

"Jon..."

He slapped her across her face hard.

"No." He said in a voice barely above a whisper.

She stared at him in stunned silence as he pressed her hand harder to his growing erection.

It's hard to say what would have happened then if the announcement hadn't blared that Jon had a visitor. It brought him jolting back to reality.

"Fuck." He said, hastily retreating from her.

He rushed towards the visitor area, horrified. Mind trick where a different thing but what he had been about to do...

The person waiting for him only made him feel worse. April sat in a broken down chair looking uncomfortable while her brother stood besides her.

He walked up to them hesitantly. Looking at April he felt like a hideous monster. Not only for what he had wished for her but also for what he had almost done to Joan.

April saw him and a smile broke out on her face. Jon could not comprehend why seeing him would make her smile like that. He was a freak, a bastard who ought to have been locked up in a padded cell.

Clueless of the torment thundering inside him April put her arms around him in a hug. Jon did not hug her back. He felt as if he was dirtying her just by contact. This innocent soul who so confidingly came to him without any malice in her eyes whatsoever.

She looked up at him. There was a foot difference in their heights. "Hi Jon."

"H-Hi." He stuttered. It was the first time in his life that he had stuttered. Or been so pathetically aware of how filthy a creature he was. He looked in her eyes and he could see how the incidence had affected her. There was a dead look in her eyes. They looked frighteningly similar to his own.

"Come sit with us."

They spent a while talking of this and that. They didn't have much common grounds to talk about. But still the more Dean stayed in the company of April the more he felt like he could be worth something. The grateful look in her eyes made him want to be a better person.

Soon enough it was time for them to go. But April held his hand as he was about to leave.

"Jon?"

He turned around unwillingly. Although her presence made him want to be better, it also made him realize how utterly wretched a creature he truly was. It was amazing really. No one had ever had that effect on him.

"Yes?" He muttered

"After you are done here..." She hesitated. Dean raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Well...you don't have to look at foster homes. Dad says you can come live with us. He will talk to the social worker. If you want to."

"O-oh. Ok. Thanks."

He backed away from the room in a hurry before he could drown in the pool of his own guilt.

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><p>Review. :)<p> 


	4. Life

A/N: I wanted to finish the past sequence soon but it keeps dragging. Also, can you please REVIEW? It's like Deadman talking here.

Warnings: Underage sex reference, suicide.

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><p>CHAPTER 4<p>

His time at the correctional was over. It would've been better if it had never ended. Dean's bags were packed but he had no idea where he was headed. He picked his duffel bag, half heartedly heading to the doors. He had ruled out April's place almost as soon as she offered. The guilt would've driven him crazy. He sighed thinking there were always the streets. It's not like he hadn't spent enough time there, though he was not looking forward to it. He was tough, it wasn't the hooligans that bothered him. It was the fact that enough timeout there would make him one as well. That's what scared him. That if he let himself go he would create a monster even he couldn't control. The madness was always bubbling just beneath the surface with him. He was so lost in these thoughts as he got out the door that he almost missed the woman waiting for him beside a black car. He was about to pass her when she spoke.

"Where do you think you're going?"

He turned around so fast he almost cricked his neck.

"Joanie?" he looked at her in disbelief. After what he had pulled with her, he couldn't believe she was even talking to him. "What…Why…" It was the first moment in his life when he was genuinely shocked. Why would she want anything to do with him?

"I'm here to take you home." She said casually, as if it were a foregone conclusion.

"Home?" Now he was really confused.

"Yes Jon. Home. I'm taking you in as a ward until the state finds you a permanent home. Or you turn 18."

"Oh." His mind went blank for a second. "Oh." Why would she do this for him? Did she not remember? Owing to his lack of options though he decided not to argue too much with what seemed too good to be true.

She stood there looking at him.

"Ok. Yeah. Thanks." He muttered awkwardly, walking back to her.

The ride to Joanie's place was uncomfortable to say the least. There was just a big elephant of their last meet sitting there. He didn't acknowledge it. She didn't bring it up. But despite their best efforts, there it was.

After a while driving his curiosity got the better of him.

"Where are we going?"

"Oakley."

Oakley. "Never been there."

She shrugged. "It's all right."

It was better than all right. The neighborhood wasn't anything like the one Jon had grown up in. No vandals, no graffiti covering the walls, no hoodlums looking for easy prey, it was more than Jon had ever had. The house had two rooms. Joanie shifted him into the smaller room when they got there.

The silence was getting uncomfortable though.

"Joanie?" he whispered softly, half afraid of bringing this topic up at all lest she threw him out of the house.

She was laying out the bedspread when he spoke. Her hands stopped and she uttered a small sigh like she knew exactly what he was going to say.

He walked over to her and took her hand.

"I'm really sorry. I know it doesn't mean much but…"

She smiled ruefully. "It's ok, Jon."

He was taken aback. He hadn't expected it to be this easy.

"But…"

"Let's not discuss it, ok? It never happened."

He leaned over to kiss her hesitantly, testing the waters.

She smirked "You never let a chance go by, do you?"

His arms tightened around her. "I have little enough as it is."

Her expression turned soft as she kissed him herself.

"Not anymore." She whispered against his lips.

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><p>Living with Joanie was weird. Good weird but weird. For the outside world she was his care taker, his parent figure almost but in the house he hardly ever kept his hands off her. His room was seldom, if ever, used. Most of the time they just cuddled up and slept in her room.<p>

She seemed to have given up all the inhibitions and accepted things for what they were. He was enrolled in a school now. She worked, he studied; they made it work. In his way Dean was almost happy. April often contacted him. They could've been friends but his guilt was too much to overcome there. He felt like a fiend whenever he was near her. She had been so good and pure but now she was damaged. Just as him. He hid within his cocoon with Joanie. With her there was no judgment. Nothing to apologize for.

It was his 17th birthday. He was awakened by the sound of Joanie crying. Seeing him stir she wiped her tears instantly and tried to muster a small smile.

"Hey. You're awake."

He reached for her hand and pulled her towards him so she was lying on top of him.

"What's wrong, Jo?"

"Nothing." She tried to shrug nonchalantly and get up. But his arms pinned her down to him.

He tugged a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Tell me."

She squirmed "I said nothing." She broke his hold easily and walked away.

He buried his head in a pillow and groaned. He hated when she got like this. It felt like somebody had poked a hole through his bubble.

He dragged himself out of the bed to follow her. She was sitting on the worn out sofa, eyes staring at something only she could see. He knelt before her placing a hand on her knee.

"Talk to me Jo. What is it?"

"I just feel like…"

"Like?" He prodded gently.

"Like a fool."

"A fool." He stated blandly, pressing his lips together. He knew where this was going.

"It's just…you're so young. And I'm too old to be anything to you."

"Jo. I'm not going to leave you. I'm not like the rest of them."

I'm not Paul, he wanted to yell but knew better than to mention her ex. That was still a sensitive topic to her.

"But…I'm 32! I…"

"You are the best person I have ever met. I love you, Jo." It was the first time he had said the words but they seemed right. He had genuinely grown to love Joanie in the three years they had been together.

She looked at him wild eyed. "Don't say that! This isn't…"

Dean was getting more pissed with every word that she uttered.

"I can't believe you are pulling this shit today."

She looked at him confused.

Now he was just livid.

"You don't even _remember_, do you Joan?"

Shaking his head in disgust he stood up and walked out the door.

It was only when he had reached the end of the block that he heard her calling him back.

_Happy fucking birthday Jon_, he thought bitterly and kept walking, shoving the stupid ring deep into his pocket.

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><p>April always hated how when celebrities committed suicide their social networking sites were still active. Like nothing ever happened. It was a stupid thought but one she couldn't get out of her head. So she deleted her bolt and care2 accounts before slashing her wrist with a razor.<p> 


	5. Last Stand

A/N: Thanks to my reviewers. Love you guys. And to those who didn't, in the words of the lunatic fringe, 'Don't give me a reason not to like you.'

ahgndouity I tried to keep the cliffhanger short.

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 5<strong>

**Last Stand**

AJ was overwhelmed. She just wanted to escape a world where even 2 years past the event no one will let her get rid of the victim's badge. It had been traumatizing but she wanted to move on. Pretend like it never happened to her. Except no one would let her believe it. So here she was, ending her life. As the blood poured out of her veins though, something strange happened. She saw Dean as he was the day he rescued her and she remembered he was in juvie because of her. This thought made her want to reconsider for a second but there was too much pain, too much blood. All she could do was utter a little scream and fall on the door, opening it and staining the outside carpet a bright red.

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><p>Dean wasn't legally permissible to drink. Of course when you are Dean Ambrose you tend not to worry about such trivialities. He swiped a bottle from a small gas station shop. He was long gone before the poor sod at the store realized what had happened.<p>

He needed the drink today. Just for once he'd wanted to have a normal birthday. Nope, too much to ask. He took a large swig bitterly.

"Fuck this shit." His birthdays were crème de la the worst days ever. Mostly no one knew about them but his mother always did. He wished she didn't because her idea of a birthday celebration was family time. This translated roughly to visiting the sperm donor in jail and pretending not to notice him mauling his mother like she was a piece of meat. At least there was the cake.

_Good times_, he thought sarcastically. The alcohol swirled desolately at the bottom of bottle. He was shit drunk. He took a final swig devouring the bottle's last drops and smashed the bottle at the pavement.

The sound of glass shattering froze him in his tracks. His addled brain had taken him to his worst brand of fear. The sound of Dad's beer bottle hitting the floor just before he yelled at Dean for causing a mess and beating him up.

"I'll clean it up. I swear dad." He whispered fearfully. "Please don't hurt me."

No hit or blows came but he bent down to clean the shards of glass. The glass cut him at various places and soon the glass pieces he was picking ran red.

"I'm sorry dad." He kept chanting feverishly. The man terrified him but Dean craved his attention as much as he craved to get away from him. He would never admit it sober but he had always wanted to make the man proud. He only got broken jaws and dislocated shoulders as his reward.

After collecting as many shards as his could, heedless of how the gashes they caused, he starting to look around for a dumpster. He was on a lonely stretch of road and could not find one. His heart sped up. Daddy was looking. He must find a dumpster. He mustn't disappoint Daddy.

"All right there, son?"

He whipped around hastily, dropping the glasses in the process.

"I'm not your son." He hissed venomously to the old man standing there in his army fatigues.

"Force of habit. Sorry." The man said easily. There was a pause where the man squinted at Dean. "Aren't you Karen's son?"

"How do you know my mom?" he slurred hazily.

It was a good thing Dean was drunk or he would have seen the embarrassed look on the man's face telling him exactly how he knew her mom.

He shoved past the man to continue walking, the shards forgotten.

"Hey. Hey. Let me get you a cab home. You're in no condition to walk."

"Have no home." Dean mumbled.

"Course you do."

It took him a while but he came back with a cab and helped Dean in it. He gave the cabbie the address and money with strict instructions to drop him home and nowhere else.

Dean was starting to feel trapped. Why was he in this cab? Was he being kidnapped? He wanted out.

"Stop the cab."

"No can do. Have to get you home."

Dean launched himself at the man, throwing blows at his head.

"Oi! You crazy, man?" The driver tried to control the car but it swiveled out of control.

"Kid sit the heck down! We're gonna crash!"

"Let me out." Dean had a choke hold on the man's neck by now.

The driver slammed the brakes and Dean was thrown forward, hitting his head on the windshield.

"Get out!" The driver screamed at him.

Dean got out on unsteady footing his head bleeding from hitting the windshield.

As soon as he was out the cabbie hightailed it out of there muttering about finding a safer job.

Dean was beyond confused by now. Where was he? Where had he been going? He was about to go into a full panic attack when he remembered Joan.

He fished his cell out and called her. She picked up at first ring.

"Joanie?" Dean whispered hopefully.

"Jon. Oh god. You had me scared. Where are you?"

"Jo…I love you Jo." He mumbled blurrily.

"Are you drunk?" Joanie asked, her voice rising in pitch.

"Little…little bit. But I still love you."

Joan sighed on the other end.

"I love you too, Jo. Where are you?"

"Y-you do?"

Joan sighed. This was gonna be a long day.

"Yes. I love you. Now where are you?"

Dean smiled happily at the other end."Jo…"

Joan huffed angrily. "Jonathan Good. You have the next 15 seconds to tell me where you are or I'm filing a report."

"I don't know Joanie. Don't hang up on me. I love you."

"Arghh…" she yelled in frustration.

"Don't yell Jo. My head hurts. I hit it on the windshield." Then he laughed as if this was the funniest thing in the world. "It's even bleeding." He guffawed in hilarity.

"This is useless. Jon is there anyone around? Put them on the phone."

A young man was playing a guitar for tips nearby. Dean stumbled up to him and held out the phone. "My girlfriend wants to talk to you."

The man looked askance at his state before taking the phone warily.

Joan smiled slightly at the girlfriend comment. A confused voice came over the phone next.

"Um…hello?"

"Hi. I'm so sorry about this. But can you please tell me where you are? So I can pick this guy up?"

"Sure. But I think he'd need a hospital first lady. Your fella's bleeding to the ground here."

"What?! He told me…Nevermind." Joan was frantic. "Is there a hospital nearby? Can you get him there? I'll get over as soon as I can."

"Well…" The man hesitated.

"Please sir. He's all I've got."

The man sighed. He told Joan where they were and the hospital where he was taking Dean.

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

* * *

><p>AJ hadn't been able to cut too deeply before she was discovered by her brother. They had rushed her to the hospital and though she had to get stitches it wasn't life threatening. She was resting when she saw him go by outside her window. She hadn't got a clear look but she was positive it was Dean. She rushed out despite her family's protests.<p>

Sure enough there he was. His head was busted, his hands were bleeding and he reeked of alcohol.

"Jon?" She called out in disbelief.

He turned to look at her blearily.

"April? What are you doing here?"

"What happened to you, Jon?"

"Nothing."

"That does not look like nothing."

She raised her hand to touch his forehead wincing slightly cause it hurt the stitches. He noticed her bandaged hand.

"What happened to you then?"

"Nothing." She mumbled hastily.

"That does not look like nothing." He said smiling slightly. The alcohol was wearing off and he was almost back to normal.

"Smartass."

"April!" Her brother had come following her. "Come back to the room. You are worrying mom and dad."

* * *

><p>Dean was patched up. Joan was sitting by his side.<p>

"Of all the stupid things to do!" She was fuming. "Of all the foolhardy, mental…"

"Jo?" Dean interrupted.

"What?" She turned to him angrily.

"Can you yell slowly? My head's throbbing."

"Fine." She whispered sarcastically.

He smiled slightly, flinching when it hurt his head.

"Jo? Come here please." He patted the space on his bed.

She came over and sat there sullenly.

He took her hand.

"I love you Jo…"she huffed out an exasperated breath. He fished around in his pocket for the ring and held it out to her.

"Will you marry me?" he whispered.

And then she could only stare.

* * *

><p>Joan had run out for a while saying she needed a minute to herself.<p>

Dean was not pleased by the way she had reacted or the way she did not seem too happy but he blamed it on the suddenness of it all.

So when he heard soft footsteps coming towards him he said without looking.

"All figured out?"

"Huh?" AJ asked confused.

He looked around and was surprised to see her.

"April. What are you doing here?" It came out a bit abrupt.

"Oh. I just came to visit. I'm sorry, I can come back later." She started to back away awkwardly.

"No. Shit. That's not what I meant. Come here. Sit."

"How are you?" she asked.

"Been better. You?"

"Same."

They smiled companionably. After a while Dean spoke.

"So, are you going to tell me why you actually came here?"

AJ groaned. There had been a specific reason for her visit but she'd hoped Dean would be a bit more discreet.

"Is it that apparent?"

Dean didn't say anything just looked at her.

"Well…I guess I just wanted to talk to someone who wasn't eyeing me like I'm crazy."

"Hmm." Dean didn't want to interrupt her flow.

"You know why I was here?"

"No."

"I tried to kill myself."

Dean stared at her, aghast. She had been doing so well, he had no idea she was struggling.

"Why?" he tried to keep his voice steady. Tried to disassociate himself from the guilt.

"I just…it will never go away, will it? No matter what I do, what I achieve…I'll just be…" Tears had started to pool in her eyes but she swiped them severely and continued "I'll just be the girl who got raped at 13."

Dean wasn't a compassionate person. He didn't even believe he was human to begin with. But in that moment, nothing could've stopped him from engulfing April in a comforting hug.

"Why didn't you talk to me before?" he asked, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

"I just…didn't know what to say. It's like every time I forget about it, there's always somebody asking me if I'm ok. They'll just never let me live it down." She was sobbing hysterically by now incapable of talking any further.

"I'm sorry, April." Dean whispered holding her tighter.

"I'm sorry I'm such a mess…I shouldn't have…" She tried to break away from the hug obviously trying to make a swift escape but Dean held on to her.

"You can come to me anytime. I don't care, ok?"

They sat like that for a while until April looked up at him. Their eyes met and a certain tension engulfed the room. April moved a bit closer just as Dean moved a bit farther. It resulted in Dean falling back on his bed with April above him.

"Uh…" Dean tried to deflate the situation unsuccessfully.

She leaned in and gently placed her lips on Dean's who was too dazed to move.

This time as AJ ran out of the room he did not stop her.


	6. Monster

A/N: How many of you are **18**? There is a sex scene in here, just in case. And I'm not good at writing sex scenes. **Double alert**. Just went through my Moxley/Ambrose DVD run, so mind = blown. Sorry for the late update but you guys aren't really spreading the love in comments. I love the reviews I've got but miss the ones I've not.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 6<strong>

**MONSTER**

* * *

><p>They were home again. Dean was resting, snuggled up in a blanket with his head resting on Joan's bare chest. It would have been a serene moment if not for the debate they were currently having.<p>

"I don't understand."

Joan sighed causing Dean's head to move in sync. He smiled slightly but didn't back off the topic.

"What is there to understand?" She murmured causing pleasant vibrations to course through Dean's body. It was harder to stay on topic than he would've guessed. But this was Dean fucking Ambrose. He could hold out until she gave him a straight answer.

"Why would you not marry me?"

"Why do you want to marry me?"

"Because I fucking love you!"

She smiled slightly. "For now."

He sat up indignantly "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Look. We have a good thing going here. Why do you want to put it through the ropes?"

"I just want to be married to you."

"You have no idea how crazy that sounds coming from a kid like you!"

"Oh. So I'm good enough to fuck but not good enough to marry. Is that it? " He asked in a voice that hinted at traces of darkness behind it.

"No Jon. You're misunder…."

"I'm tired. I think I'll take a nap." He said quietly lying down facing away from her, startling Joan who had expected more of a fight.

She sat there staring at his back wondering what her next move should be. Dean on the other hand lay unmoving and seething with anger.

She finally got up and came around to his side.

"Jon." She said quietly. He still didn't open his eyes wishing she would just go away so he could calm down before talking to her any further.

"Go away Joanie." He mumbled through the pillow to mask how close to snapping he really was.

"Please Jon, don't be like this." She reached out a hand to comfort him.

He snapped his eyes open and Joan could immediately tell she had pushed him too far. He caught her hand and got up. She towered over him by several inches but still something about him intimidated her. He just got this dead look in his eyes and it was impossible to tell what he'd do next at such moments.

What he did next was starting to pummel her. He never uttered a sound, never yelled in rage, just started a methodical beat down with everything he could get his hands on. The lamp. The alarm clock. The bedside drawer. Joan was too stunned to react for a moment and then too injured to react anyways. The lamp hit her head. The clock struck very near her eye. The drawer struck her with enough force to knock her to floor. It all happened within a matter of seconds.

Joan was on the floor, winded, bleeding and astounded. She had never seen this side of him. His face was completely devoid of any emotion, his eyes just empty sockets, he looked about ready to kill.

She had taken bumps before. Her head had been busted open before. She had been abused before but never in her existence had she feared for her life like she did right then. She was afraid of this boy towering over her. She tried to get up to muster some kind of defense. She was a former wrestler. She could handle this.

"Don't get up." He said quietly, like they were making everyday conversation.

She should not have been scared but she was petrified.

The darkness in him was radiant.

He was glorious.

He was terrifying.

"Please Jon…stop. Please…I'll…I'll marry you."

It was as if a switch flipped in his brain. The anger drained away.

He bent down to pull her gently in his lap.

"See?" he murmured soothingly. "That's all you had to say."

Later, he tenderly tended to her every wound, his hands shaking in horror at the damage he had inflicted.

* * *

><p>They were married at a courthouse. It was a quiet affair. The only witness they had was a friend of Joan's who kept looking at the two of them as if she expected them to yell psyche at any moment.<p>

She looked stunned beyond belief when the whole thing actually got done without a hitch.

* * *

><p>Dean never did tell AJ about getting married. He could have. Had thousands of opportunities. Like the time she called on the night of his marriage.<p>

The phone rang at 11:30 just when things were finally starting to heat up a little between him and Jo. He picked up the phone completely pissed.

"Hello?" he growled.

"Jon?" AJ whispered in a frail little girl voice.

"April?" Now he was confused. They had not had any contact since that kiss in the hospital.

"I'm sorry. I know it's late…but I didn't have anyone else to call up."

"No. No." Dean reassured her, rubbing his face and trying to find a spot to sit. "It's ok. What happened?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to talk."

Dean had no idea what to say. He and April had never had more than four straight conversations, what was he even supposed to say?

"Uh…"

"Look if you're worried about what happened back at the hospital it won't happen again Jon. I just got carried away."

"It's fine. It's fine. Don't worry about it."

"Um…ok. So…what you up to?"

Dean could have smacked his head through the wall right then. What was he supposed to say? I was about to have sex with my wife but you called and busted that plan? Damn, he was not good with small talk.

"Jon?"

"Uh…hey yeah. Um…sorry Joan's calling me. Can I talk to you later maybe?"

"Oh. Yeah. Sure." She was trying to sound perky but he could hear the disappointment in her voice. He cursed himself for being an idiot.

"Hey April? The After Hours is tomorrow. I was gonna take Joan but do you want to come with me? We could talk there." After Hours was a monthly festival thing in Oakley.

"That sounds great." She sounded much happier.

"OK. See you then."

"Yeah."

"Um…K. Well bye."

"Bye Jon."

They hung up. He sat by the phone feeling like a moron.

"Jon?" Joanie came in to find him. She was naked and so beautiful he wanted to fuck her right there on the floor.

He grabbed her by the waist. "You're fucking delicious, you know that?"

She giggled. "You say the funniest things."

"Oh but I'm not being funny." He grabbed one of her boobs groping it hard. His other hand went down to massage her clit.

"Oh Jon." She whimpered against his neck.

He thrust a finger in her pussy.

"Do you love me, Joan?" he rasped.

"Y-yes."

He pushed another finger in, slowly sliding them in and out.

"Say it. Say it Joanie."

He shoved a finger in her ass, fucking both holes now.

"I-I I love you Jon."

He slid a second finger in her ass.

"Do I make you feel good Joanie?"

"Yes. God, yes."

He smirked.

"Such a good bitch."

He was thrusting both holes hard now.

"I love you too, bitch." He looked at her contemplatively. "You know, a dog collar would look so good on you. Officially make you my bitch. Would you like that, dear?"

"W-Whatever you want Jon. I l-love you."

"Good." He bent her over the kitchen counter. He thrust his cock in her ass making her hiss in pain.

"I want you raw." He grunted as he increased his thrusts, ignoring the cries of pain coming from Joan.

Joan was lost in a world of pain. It felt as though her ass was being ripped in two by his endless heaving. Any arousal she might have had was far gone as the pain far outweighed the pleasure. But she wanted to please her boy. She wanted him to know he had her. She was his possession.

Dean climaxed inside her, slumping over her as he came.

Dean picked her up not bothering to take his cock out of her and placed them both on the floor. He soon fell asleep. Joan on the other hand spent a long time wincing, feeling the limp cock inside her.

* * *

><p>He woke with her breast pressed against her face. He smiled thinking this was the best way to wake up. That is until he noticed the blood pooling around Joan's legs. He cursed under his breath. He had been way too hard on her, again. He gingerly parted her ass cheeks to survey the damage wincing when he saw more blood.<p>

He groaned, banging his head on the floor.

The sound woke Joan up.

"Jon? Wha…Why is your head bleeding?" She tried to sit up, cringing as the pain hit her full force.

"I hurt you again." He murmured. "I promised I won't and I hurt you again."

"It's ok, Jon."

"It's not. It's not! Why do you let me do this to you?!"

"Because I love you." She whispered sadly.

That was possibly the worst thing she could have said at the moment. Jon recoiled as if she had hit him.

"I think I need to get away for a while." He told her determinedly.

"What?" She looked at him in disbelief. "Are you going to run every time you screw things up?"

"What else can I do?!" He stood up and stared pacing the small kitchen like a caged animal. "Every time…every fucking time I tell you, it'll never happen again…" He banged his head on the wall staining it with the blood already flowing through his head "…and then I turn around and hurt you again. Every fucking time!"

The second bang made Jon a little light headed. He slid back to the floor near Joan. He put his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder.

"I'm not like them Joanie. I promise I'm not like them." He could feel the tears sliding past his eyes but he was helpless to stop them. "I'm not like those men who hurt my mother. I'm not, I'm not…" He was sobbing now, fearful than he no longer knew if what he was saying was true.

Had he become what he despised?

* * *

><p>They patched each other up. Jon told her of his plans with AJ.<p>

She nodded. "It's a good thing. You should spend more time with your friends."

He placed his hand on her thigh. "I'd rather spend all my time with you."

"Get out of here you horny teenager!"

He laughed and kissed her head. Then his smile faltered. "I really am sorry, Jo."

She placed a soft kiss on his lips. "Go."

He started to leave almost glad he was leaving because the longer he looked at Joan the guiltier he felt.

"Tell April she's welcome to join us for the plans I told you about."

"Will do" He said rushing towards the door.

It was clear in that moment that both wanted to avoid being alone with the other.

He watched her make her way through the crowd.

The yellow sundress made her look about 10.

He thought a moment about the different effects, she and Joanie had on him. With Joan, he was dark, the monster, the psychopath but whenever April was around he felt like he could do better, be better. He could be her guardian angel.

He shook his head at the stupid thought. A monster is nobody's angel.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"Should we go?"

"Yeah. Absolutely. Where do you wanna go?"

"Candyfloss?" she asked hopefully.

He chuckled. Candyfloss.


End file.
